


Trauma

by cloudfromffvii



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, mentions of abuse, psychotic gaara, ptsd sand siblings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-18 20:47:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7330111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudfromffvii/pseuds/cloudfromffvii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drabbles exploring the repercussions of losing the one thing that made someone a monster. Oftentimes, something that sounds entirely positive on paper doesn't work out that way in practice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trauma

**Author's Note:**

> no one was ever prepared to try and deal with what you'd think would be nothing but a positive move.
> 
> (food warning for this drabble)

The walk from their room upstairs to the kitchen was far longer than they were interested in. But as they lay in bed, thin sheets over them and eyes locked on the ceiling, their stomach growled and their temples throbbed and with a sigh they accepted the fact that the morning wasn't getting any shorter. Sleep clearly wasn't coming to them, so they might as well get themself some water.

Gaara hauled themself up, an ache lacing through their arms and down their back as they did so. Their bedding could stay where and as it was, they’d decided; Gaara rolled onto their knees and slowly rose to their feet, shuffling over to the chest of drawers. Another uncomfortable twinge bolted through their shoulders as they pulled their shirt off over their head; a faint remnant of everything that had happened over the last month or so.

Most of it went by in a blur and they couldn't remember it particularly clearly. Not something they were mourning. What they did remember, however, they almost wished would go the same way. Something cold and dark, scratching at the corners of their mind, something clawed and dangerous with burning eyes.

The stiffness in their limbs and the ache that spread through their body with every large movement they made had slowly faded since Elder Chiyo’s sacrifice. The buzzing in the back of their head hadn't, not really, but they were told by others (whose opinions they weren't really all that interested in, to be honest) that it would, in time. Life had returned to normal- as much as their siblings had managed to make it, at least.

Cold morning light filtered in as they stepped out into the hallway; it was cooler than their room, and the sun had only just finished rising over the horizon to the east. Maybe they should have gotten up earlier to watch the sunrise.

But of course, they'd needed to sleep. They _wanted_ to sleep. It'd been so long since they'd had the chance to sleep somewhat peacefully, and there was so much time to be catching up on.

_You've got to be careful about that, Gaara of the Sand. You never know what'll happen when you let your guard down._

Stopping in their tracks, they could already feel cold sweat beginning to bead at their hairline, cold blue terror creeping up their spine.

 _Oh, but wait... you_ _ **do**_ _know what will happen, don't you?_

After a painful moment of deliberation, Gaara allowed themself a quick look over their shoulder into an empty hallway (the doors to Kankurou's room and the bathroom were both closed), before hurrying themself to the stairs and descending.

They were hit with the sound of noodles boiling and the smell of peppered eggs. Temari stood at the stove, one hand stirring a relatively large pot of noodles and the other gently shaking a pan with some sort of meat frying in it. She didn't actually acknowledge their presence at first. The youngest Kogane pulled out a chair, seating themself at the wooden table and folding their arms on it.

"Would you like some tea," Temari offered, placing the pan on a mat and snuffing out the burner with a matte lid, "or just some water? I wasn't expecting you up this early." She looked over her shoulder and her eyes met her sibling's; the dark circles under their eyes stood out like bruises, faintly visible against the tanuki markings. While never really having had a stellar sleeping record, before now they'd always been working off borrowed energy. The lack of the extra chakra now was beginning to show through. "Well.... no, that was a lie, I was expecting you to be up, but I wasn't expecting you to be down here."

"Tea, please," Gaara murmured under their breath, bringing their hands up to press the heels of their palms against their eyes. They were beginning to see stars, swimming in the dark behind their eyelids. It felt like they'd only been sitting like there for a few seconds or so- then there was a gentle thunk on the wooden table as their sister delivered their drink.

"What you can smell is blue vervain," she said, giving them a gentle pat on the head, "but don't worry, I tried to drown it out with honey. So hopefully it won't be too nasty. Do you want some ramen?"

Gaara gave her a small nod, picking up their cup and taking a small sip despite the steam wafting into their face. It _was_ bitter, but it wasn't unpleasant. For once. They could hear Temari humming to herself as she clattered around with dishes, making both herself and her baby sibling a serving each, and putting a lid on the large pot of noodles and broth before bringing both bowls over to the table.

"Here you go." The woman sat herself down across from Gaara, taking her chopsticks and slurping a mouthful of noodles thoughtfully, before swallowing and looking up again. "So, obligatory query. How are you feeling this morning, Gaa?"

"I suppose I look tired?" they questioned, peering at their sister over the edge of their cup. Their voice rasped a bit with the exhaustion. "I didn't get any sleep."

"Well, yeah, I guessed that. But you're... hn. You're paler than last night. Kinda look like you've seen a ghost."

_And we all know why that is, don't we,_ _**jinchuuriki** _ _?_

Temari's eyebrows knit together at the sudden, slight tenseness that seem to run through her sibling's body. Gaara's eyes fell to their ramen and they reached for their own chopsticks as they took a long sip from their tea. Bad question. Don't press. Don’t press.

Both siblings were very, very aware that their youngest sibling was rather _fragile_ right now. Walking on eggshells around Gaara wasn’t a nice feeling, no, and in more recent years they hadn’t _had_ to- but it was still a thing they’d been doing all their lives and it still came naturally. Especially in situations like this.

Temari wasn’t afraid of Gaara anymore, (the same couldn’t exactly be said for Kankurou) but that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to avoid upsetting them when she could. And the removal of Shukaku had been a relief, yes. A weight lifted. But that couldn’t make up for years of cautiously calculating the paths they crossed with their youngest sibling. Avoiding meeting eyes, carefully planning out their interactions, Kankurou holding his breath and Temari clenching her jaw whenever something _could_ have upset them. When someone had upset Gaara as a child, it was never just the perpetrator that paid for it.

And those times were over now. They all knew it, somewhere deep down. Eventually, Kankurou would be able to engage with his sibling more again, and Temari would be able to let the last of her guard down. Which is what she was trying to do now. The three of them had made so much progress, not just between themselves but between Gaara and the villagers of the Sand.

Now with Shukaku gone, it could’ve been assumed that everything would have been that much easier. But jinchuuriki weren’t supposed to survive the removal of their beasts, and that left a surreal taste in everyone’s mouth. Coupled with the constant invasion of Gaara’s personal space during their recovery and the nights all three of them had lost so far to the youngest Kogane’s nightmares, it felt like they’d all been thrown three rungs back.

She knew the last thing Gaara needed was for the only people that they’d ever really been ‘close’ to (even if it was constantly at arms reach or more) avoiding them and isolating them again. And if Kankurou wasn’t up to the task yet, Temari sure as hell was going to be. They owed them that, at least.

“Are you alright?”

Temari was snapped from her thoughts as Gaara’s voice cut through the quiet of the morning. She looked up to find her sibling’s dark eyes fixed on her face, noodles hanging from utensils hovering halfway between their plate and their mouth. She sighed through her nose and nodded, bringing on a little smile as Gaara brought the food to their mouth. A knot had formed in her throat- there’d been an unpleasant flash of _was that disappointment?_ in their eyes at having startled her, but she refused to acknowledge it.

“Oh. Yeah, absolutely. I was just thinking,” she said, before beginning to shovel ramen into her own mouth again. Gaara nodded quietly, obviously deciding not to press as they returned to finishing their own food. After a couple of mouthfuls, Temari cleared her throat. Gaara raised their eyes to her face again. "... so anyway, that tea should help you relax a little bit, even if it doesn't help you sleep. That's what blue vervain does."

**Author's Note:**

> apparently 'sabaku' is the sand siblings' fanon accepted surname but i'm an asshole so im using kogane instead


End file.
